VISITING YOU, MY BODY OVERHEATS
Against the wind on your grandfather’s porch, the summer
sun dries salt water into salt. Our swimming trunks like
two flags on display—
we’re patriotic for
what we take off to reveal our bodies. In the yard,
we carry the compost
to the garden. You spit in the decay—
there’s no reason not to,
black banana peels and shredded tea leaves don’t mind
your saliva on their skin as they become
fertilizer for already rich soil.
We’re back from the beach. I threw up
ice cream and a ham sandwich out the window of your car
from oppressive July
heat and your refusal
to turn on the air conditioning.
Inside I hide
my candy from your mother,
the woman who tells us to
go on walks while it rains. I never
know when she’s looking
so I keep my shirt on when we have sex.
According to you, a series is finished
as soon as possible.
But I prefer to imagine
what could come next
before knowing the end.
We watch volume 2 and you drift into champagne-induced sleep
on my numbing thigh as Volume 2 plays.
I piss in the toilet and don’t close the seat
to avoid waking you. I’m on the beach swimming
in nothing but my own sweat. Then I open my eyes.
You park your car in the lot, and ride
inside the passenger’s chamber with me
because you have ferry tokens to spare. The boat shakes while
you dance to the song playing from your phone speaker, you
fall and my reflexes are too slow to catch you before you
bruise your elbow on polished wood.
For breakfast, we went to the only bagel shop on the island.
You watched me walk back in for seconds.
When we pulled out of the parking spot
someone honked at you and you cursed them out
with your windows rolled up.
I get off the ferry, I get on the train. You stand
too close to the tracks while you pick at your cuticles,
making them bleed, making me tell you to stop, and
you grab my hand and show me that I do the same.
You text me in your car and again
when you get back to the house. I’m sent
reminders to transfer at Ronkonkoma as I chew my sour candy.
Backward on the train. I watch the world
move opposite of how I expect it to.
stopping, but always starting up again
fast as ever to make it to the sequel, but always moving
in the wrong direction.
It makes me dizzy so I close my eyes
and keep them shut.